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3/19/12

Worthiness

"People always told me to pray but after a night of drinking I would feel unworthy of talking with God. I thought I had to sober up first and have a few days under my belt before I could ask God for help. But as I continued to struggle with recovery and relapse I began to realize that maybe I was wrong. Maybe worthiness is not an end result but obtained by showing up to the day and giving it my best (relapse or no relapse). I am probably not the first one who has a hard time getting things right. And I am certainly not the first to get knocked down a few times. I guess I can show more worthiness in how I stand back up than how I fall down. My new commitment is to not make my worthiness dependent on some future sobriety date but to show up to the moment in the best way I can. I'm sure God won't mind that. Thanks for letting me vent." - M