"I use to communicate with hints and if you couldn't read my clues you were screwed. It was actually a big setup. I would throw out little hints of information to test people and see if they cared. When I did not get the responses I wanted I would become angry and blame them for not understanding. This kept me from getting close to people. I always looked for the little meanings behind what people did and said. This was to protect myself from getting hurt. I didn't like to be surprised so I was vigilant to the deeper meanings of people. In other words I complicated everything and judged everyone's motives. This kept me pretty lonely. I have been an alcoholic off and on for most of my life. I have eating disorder issues and I would say most of my drama stems from the abuse I received at age 10. I am working on it though, and I make it a goal every day to not hint and to say things directly and honestly. I try to take what people say at face value. I try to recognize when I am attaching old issues to the new. Instead of judging people's motives I am asking questions and clarifying when needed. I am a work in progress, but I am progressing. " - R.O.