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5/7/12

The Phantom

"I remember after I stopped drinking that I would often wake up and feel like I had a hangover even though I had not drank the night before. This 'phantom hangover' would actually cause me much guilt until I reminded myself that I no longer drank. I would also experience 'phantom feelings' of hurt and anger that would pop up out of the blue (even though I had not done or experienced anything to cause hurt or anger). Things could be going along really well in my life and then my defensiveness could rise up all of a sudden because of fear that I did something wrong. These 'phantom thinkings' lingered for a while as I found my new life. If these "phantoms" I experienced are any indication of how drinking can alter the mind, I would say that I was one messed up dude in how I looked at things when I was drinking. Recovery teaches us to challenge old thinking patterns and I believe these 'phantom' pop ins are to remind us how much of life we did contrive." -Mark