"We should remember that people reflect the extent of their own experience, not more. There are usually more solutions to a challenge than an individual can think of, no matter how experienced they think they are. Therefore, underestimation of available options in any given situation is common. Inspired problem solving involves going beyond personal first impressions." - E
- Recovery encourages you to challenge and check your thinking in all ways. Your preconceived notions must give way to more "inspired problem solving".
"When I was trying to quit drinking, one technique I used was saying a quick prayer before every sip of beer. The more I drank, the more I prayed. It sounds crazy but the guilt of tainting the prayer with a drink eventually won and I stopped drinking all together." - K
"What complicated my drinking was the fear of losing the memory of who I am and who I am suppose to be. This realization really hit home when I started to look in my families eyes and couldn't recognize myself anymore." - D
"In recovery I have slowly realized the importance of the questions I ask myself. It was a turning point for me when I moved from the why did this happen question to the how can I question. I've learned that the why question is pretty much only used to beat myself up with. Moving forward for me entails looking more at the hows not the whys." - Brice
..... I thought my innocence was lost forever after the abuse. I did not trust anything or anybody. I lost myself in drugs. But through recovery I am finding myself again. I am believing in me again and I am beginning to see innocence again. Innocence is never lost." - K
"Be interested in character, not convenience." G.F.
Initially in addiction recovery, there is a selfish type of mentality that often causes decisions to be based on what is most convenient and not necessarily what is actually the best character building choice. Character choices often take a back seat to what is more convenient. If this is not resolved it could leave the person empty and could perpetuate a desire to continue drug or alcohol use.
To help differentiate which choices are for character and which are for convenience the person in recovery can ask the following question, "Will this act benefit me or someone else?" If the answer is that the act can help someone else it is more likely to build character, if it is to help yourself it is more likely for convenience.
"When I stopped using drugs I started to see that even though I still experience a lot of stress, overall the stress is less complicated in nature and doesn't have as much drama and heartache attached to it. I realize addicts complicate things, but I even complicated stress!"
Worry can be a way of distracting us from deeper truths. It can help us avoid looking at what must truly be resolved by making surface issues more immediate. Be careful if this becomes a focus in recovery as "addicts" have a way of manipulating (although unintentionally) others and themselves from knowing how they truly feel.
"It wasn't the unknown that scared me. I got good at staying up at night worried. It was his unpredictability that kept me focused and vigilant. This created a sense of closeness I thought was love." -B
"A goal is only as good as the effort and pride put into the process of achieving it."
- There will be many ups and downs in recovery as you make your way toward sobriety. No matter what the outcome, make it a goal that when you look back on this time of your life, you can at least say you did it well and with pride.
"I have come to realize that others are going to be exactly who they are regardless of my opinions or judgments of them. All that I influence is my behavior and response. When I was using I arranged life so that it would best fit my thinking. This was my world as an addict. Life had to be manipulated; otherwise I would see that my behavior did not make sense." - J.T.
.... Understanding this is key to understanding resentments.
"A chair is always waiting in a room where a few do crowd To tell your tales of living and to help you be strong and proud It is a place that will captivate you with lyrics and truths for everyone Its hope is to cleanse your spirit so you can right the wrongs you have done
The camaraderie of those who will be lingering in these halls where bravery is found Will encourage and support you onward with a knowledge that is the best around They won't leave, walk away or wander if your heart is ever closed or bound There will be a chair always waiting in a room where a few do crowd"