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Showing posts from January, 2013

Choice

"He is an alcoholic and I do pity him but I am not going to hide behind this pity. He is not going to determine who can fix the situation. If he doesn't want it, I can. It is not just his decision. Alcoholism does not trump choice - my choice. He has a choice and so do I." - A Wife

Lying

"Of course we are going to lie. Drugs are awful. If we are not trying to lie or deceive you, then we are not being honest with ourselves about our addiction. Awkward as it may seem, if those we loved knew what we were doing it would surely crush them." - M

The Diagnosis

"I had to grow up quick. My Mom's drinking, blackouts and pass-outs forced me into the care-taking role at home. but I also had to be a kid. So I learned to have my fun at school. I acted out majorly and this landed me in a few counselor's offices. They explored, prodded, questioned and labeled me with everything from ADHD to oppositional defiant disorder. I think they were getting close but they never got to the one that mattered - it was the diagnosis I call a-shitty-home-life-syndrome." - C

God

"My recovery and understanding of God has been a difficult one. In retrospect, I have come to understand that God reflects my own mind. When I become transparent God does. The same can be said for my recovery."

Selfishness

"As a kid my Dad's rehab program had him make a list of all the things he would miss in my life if he died because of his drug use. He gave the list to me one day and told me these were his motivations to live and be sober for. Well he lived and got sober, but he missed my life anyways. Sobriety doesn't necessarily take away selfishness." - C

Pain

"The problem is in handling pain. We don't. On New Years Eve my family was in the ER with my aunt who overdosed on pain meds. Her heart stopped, she died and then her heart restarted..... I'm no stranger to pain. My dad died from an overdose a year ago and my grandma also died of an overdose five years ago..... My family are all good people but they are leaving me more pain than they are taking with them." - (14 year old)

Until I Think I Can

"The addict will continue to use until they are convinced that they can successfully live life without the use of alcohol or drugs. In my opinion, addiction has more to do with why someone thinks they can’t quit, than why they continue to drink or use drugs. In other words, I am not going to quit until I think I can."

A Split Second

"I lost my daughter and son to a car crash because of drinking. I often feel my story is too extreme to share so I remain silent during meetings.... My sponsor has told me many times to keep sharing because in reality, the only difference between my story and hers (or anyone elses) is a split second." - P

Drinking

"I hear a lot about people drinking to avoid feeling but for me it was different. I drank to feel. I would hold every emotion inside me. Drinking helped me let go of emotion. Drinking gave me a reason to be angry at something ... myself."

The Next Fix

"For an addict to survive it is necessary to deny all that is outside of acquiring the next fix. They must only see the moment they are in because the past (hope) and future (dreams) become a reminder of all that has been lost." - T

Addiction

"I did not want to speak of my addiction as I did not want to make it real."

- Denial, avoiding and secrecy are useful tools that help prevent you from naming your addiction.

Scars

"We addicts are no different from non addicts. We all carry scars inside and out. Our separateness comes from the way we try to hide from our hurt." - D

Regret

"The regret I carry is not for past mistakes but for the moments of good deeds I let slip away because of my selfish nature." - E.

A Sponsor

"As a sponsor you have to meet people where they are at. If you are above them they will resent you, if you are below them they will not respect you."

Scrutiny

"Just because a group or treatment center says it is based on the principals of AA or NA does not make them immune to intelligent or individual scrutiny. The treatment process often starts by isolating the addict to make them dependent on the program right at their most vulnerable stage. By disallowing contact with family and friends we can only trust the treatment center is leading them appropriately. Don't just hope they have a positive message. Do your research." - A Mom

Helplessness

"Recovery is faced with challenging faulty beliefs and thinking. One particular deeply engrained belief is the concept of helplessness. An alcoholic's helplessness becomes the core around which their identity is formed in order to explain their destruction. Without helplessness, then reasons for drinking would be intentional and just plain ridiculous." - W.

When I Cared He Didn't

"My dad yells at me and tells me I'm disrespectful to him because I'm flunking. He said if I do my homework he will stop drinking. He doesn't get it. When I cared he didn't." (8th grade)

Emotional Helplessness

"The greater the emotional helplessness that the addict feels the more they need to idealize their recovery process as infallible. In this way they can avoid feeling victimized once their defenses are stripped." - K