"I am going to make a statement that I have rarely heard in another recovering addict.... ... I am done. Recovered. I have completed my treatment. I will no longer make recovery my focal point. I am not what my sick thinking was. I have done my time and I am moving forward. To continuously go back into the shadows of my past will not bring me any kind of healthy future. I am a changed man precisely because I left that part of my story behind." - Dan
"The young ones are the hardest, you have to dig the hole by hand."
"I was pissed... I did not want the hole to be ready. I wanted the hole to be for me! I am the one who wasted the few days he had on this earth. I am the one who forgot my son to drugs, thinking tomorrow would be a sober day. But the gravediggers don't care, they just move the dirt. I don't blame them but if they would of known my heart they might of dug the hole a little slower." - Mike
"My son uses drugs. As much as I want him to get sober, I have come to accept that my dreams are not his. When I have a conversation with him I do it because he is my son, not because I hope for him to be sober." - Mom
"Sometimes there are reasons to get high. Sometimes trauma is your life. Sometimes drugs have more to do with sanity and coping and living, than just addiction. I was not an addict, I was beaten at home and bullied at school... I survived."
"When did being sick become healthy?"
"They told me selfishness was the answer. That expectations were preplanned resentments. That the future didn't matter and we were to take it a day at a time. They said AA is the place and if it is not working I was to keep coming back or I would face jails, institutions or death. I was an addict, but good God, is this the mentality of the healthy?" - JJ
"It is revealing how after all these years of not drinking I still get hit with moments of regret and guilt. I have changed, I know this as my actions tell me so. However, the troubling paradox I return to is this: If it was not for who I was I couldn't be who I am, but I do not like who I was. I do not know why these moments of painful memory arise accept to break me down - to teach. So I allow myself moments of quiet reflection and I hurt. And after I've hurt for a time I find my soul starts to rise once again. Stripped of my intellectual defenses I begin to let go and understand what I have done and what I now need to do."
THANK YOU! This marks the start of year two for the blog. Thanks to all who have contributed. Your story matters. Write it!
"A motivated drunk can be a dangerous drunk when an intense impulse occurs to fix things all of a sudden with no account for safety. An example would be after drinking a 12 pack of beer and then become inspired to drive to an AA meeting. A good rule of thumb in this case is first thought wrong."
- A change that endangers others is not what "recovery by any means necessary" means.