"My subconscious was being a jerk and trying to make me remember bad things. So my (emotional) breakdown was a last ditch effort of my brain to overwhelm my subconscious and shut it down in order to make the pain go away." - W (Age 11)
"Tired of the metallic taste, I would dip the barrel of my gun in peanut butter. I wanted to die, but was going to take one more chance at life. So with hot water spraying on me, I laid on the shower floor shaking. I was detoxing. Screaming at God to let me go or fix me. What the opioids hadn't taken already, the despair was about to. So with the constant thought of killing myself at my side, the days went by. And somehow I held on long enough. There was no miracle or spiritual awakening. I gained no great insight. But it happened. God did prove himself to me. I can't explain to you how I found sobriety, just like I can't explain how and why I fell in love. Sometimes it just happens." - N
"I was dead a year ago, passed out and choking on my own vomit. My tolerance down from rehab, the speedball's effect was immediate. Both angels and demons laid claim to me that night. Wether death refused me or life didn't let go, I do not know. But I survived. I am here. And wether I find recovery or not, it does not matter. I have felt my soul stir and found a demon's peace." - R
"I lost my faith because I put my husband on a pedestal and made him god. I allowed my values and self-esteem to be determined by him rather than trust in who God made me to be. In my recovery, not drinking has been easy compared to not falling back into the trap of trying to get his validation." - B
"For a drinker, foolish behavior in the past is often explained away by the booze. But a drinker carries with them an immature mentality that may have impacted their behavior wether they were drinking or not. The goal of recovery is to not only eliminate the alcohol from the drinker but to mature them in all aspects of life." - T
"The reality for some is that dealing with a husband in recovery can be more difficult than dealing with him drinking. So, for the women out there struggling with the guilt of letting go, you don't owe, you already gave." - M
"I can't hold it together anymore. I felt better when you were drinking. Just because you have a disease doesn't give you the right to disrespect me or your kids. Every day that you get better, I get more bitter. You are sober, but nothing has changed. I have carried the family on my shoulders for years and you have given me no apology. All you ask for is more help and understanding. Well, we all have problems. Everyone asks how you are doing and looks right on past me and your kids. We are hurting, and you can't see it. Your not drinking and you talk of your recovery with pride, but at the same time you yell and scream at your family. We cant go on this way anymore. We are done. Your sobriety is killing us." - A hurting family
There is nothing done that matters if it is not done well.
"I was facing a DUI, month in jail, loss of a job and rehab. It was now time to face my parents..... After telling them everything I had done and what I would have to do now, my Dad paused and without any anger or shame, he looked at me and said then son, do it well."