Finding Me

"I know that an anchor is of no use to the sea." -

"I left a retreat today feeling unanchored. People there had wives and children, jobs and commitments, to which they would return. They have lives. That is of course wonderful. I dont have these things. I do have a bank account with some money in it.  For me I feel insecure without most these things which would allow my mind to anchor the on going story of me to a place, time, specific company, and occupation with obligations that would keep me focused on other things than being lost and unanchored. As I drove home I considered the lack of reasons for me to even return to where I live. I began to yearn for a trip to the ocean and thought about getting on the 7 to San Diego. I enjoy swimming in the ocean, completely inmersing myself in it. I find a connection with a vastness that cant be found in physical terms anywhere else. It seems to cleanse my entire being. As I drove, I reflected on this imaginary swim and realized that I was feeling spacious and completely relaxed. I know that an anchor is of no use to the sea. I am the sea. We are the sea."  - Todd



"An empty apology is useless; like beer without the buzz, weed without the high." - J


Gateway Drug

"Being alive is a gateway drug."


My Sponsor

"My sponsor told me never to appease... I want you, not slogans." - Kent



"Don't lose site of me just because I drank."

- "I felt a little miffed as to why people were more concerned about me relapsing than how I was grieving for my Mom's death."


Public Recovery

The worst story gets the most attention.

"You can't recover in public. Addicts are good at faking it and will do what it takes to look good and be validated. To think that someone who has for years covered every emotion up with drugs or alcohol can then, all of a sudden, reveal their most hidden secrets publicly is dangerous and stupid. It is in the isolated room or office, one-on-one with a trusted friend or therapist that walls are shattered, trust is built and real growth in recovery occurs."



"Didn't matter I was drinking a case of beer a night. Told my son to stop hanging on my money for his pills. I was trying to teach him how to live life right." - R

- Do what I say, not what I do.



"I survived in an abusive marriage for so long by learning to let his words in my head but not my heart." - Sarah


Dealing with an addict 101

Don't react to the drama, ride it out. The calm acceptance will make them think you know more than you do.


Willingness To Live

"Defiance and destructive behavior are not hopeless behaviors. They indicate a willingness to live rather than succumb to an empty and apathetic state." - Stephen

- Recovery can be a battle of emotions as the alcoholic or addict balances the risks of resolving their emptiness and overcoming the fear of change.


Sober Arrogance

"An honest relapse can be more respected than someone who is judgmental and arrogant in their sobriety." - Ron

- Always be humble in both your successes and failures.



"I walk into a room and I know right away who is doing it right. Character is felt, not heard."
- Sarge



"Be a friend gently. Fixing right away may not be fixing the right way." - M.H.


Your Story

"There may be that one day when you are in that one meeting where your story changes a life." - C



Recovery Reflections Blog
Aspire. Don't yield, ever.


Why I Relapsed

"Being away from solid ground for so long, there becomes a comfort in the rock of the boat and unstable seas." - Jack



"It is not the fear of death that motivates change in the alcoholic but rather the eventual realization that they will live, but with no emotional attachment." - Stephen



I Forgive You.

"The above is the first spiritual phrase I learned in getting sober. I started saying it to myself. It can be used today in response to all types of situations and people and must always include myself. Uncompromising forgiveness is a worthy challenge." - Todd


That Moment

"Don't prejudge. We don't know what makes us happy until we are in that moment." - SL



"Beautiful is not the absence of defects. Every garden has weeds." - P

- If you always strive for perfection, you may miss your life.


A Good Attitude

"Recovery has taught me that being happy all the time is not the goal. You have to learn to take the good with the bad. So I don't strive for happiness, I strive for a good attitude." - Peg


For Those Who Love An Addict

Don't punish yourself for your thoughts.



"The world is a projection of my ego. My ego is undone through love and forgiveness." - T


A Parent

"As a parent of a son who struggled with addictions here is my advice: You do not always have to be the strong one and don’t attach their success with sobriety to your self-esteem as a parent."



"Setting boundaries may hurt, but it won't harm."

- Expect some initial resistance to any change. Hurt feelings on the part of the alcoholic or addict can be their attempt to passive aggressively pull on your heart strings and put things back the way they were.



Recovery Reflections
"Recovery does not give us a new world,
It helps us find the treasures that are already before us.
" - Grace


Your Mind

"Coming off pills will make you feel like you are losing your mind. Batten the hatches and hang in there during detox. If you had your mind before, you will have it after." - G



"The dark has no power on its own but is dependent on the absence of light..... Don't ever let addiction trump love." - Amy


Being In The Moment

"My biggest struggle was learning to be in the moment. For those who have been abused, you will understand when I say this is a dangerous place to be. For so many years being in the moment was the last place I wanted to be." - S



"When I felt the prick of the needle and the burn in my veins, for that moment, in that pain, I knew I existed. Everything else was enslaved to the numbing death of the heroin." - JP



"Denial is simply a word that says the story is still too strong to tell." - J