Excuse me sir, but have you seen my brother? Things have not been the same since we lost our mother. It’s all so unfair and I just don’t understand Why he keeps playing the same losing hand.
Our mother used to say in her all-knowing voice: “If it is to be it is your choice.” Whenever she said that I used to get mad, I thought all I ever got was what I already had. But now I know that just isn’t true- you get what you choose it’s really up to you.
Back to my brother, whom I love very much, it seems he’s been using drugs as a crutch. It hurts so much to see him this way. I could not take any more so I went away. Now I wonder about him everyday. I hope and I pray he will find his way.
The last time I saw him, he was quite a sight. He did not even look like my brother but a creature of the night. Something sinister had taken over his mind, and you could clearly see that he had lost his grip on reality, Paranoia, fear and addiction were his newfound friends, delivered in a syringe of coke and heroin. I thought his life was coming to an end.
In desperation I asked for help of anyone I knew. The harder I tried to help, the greater his resentment grew. Leaving him alone to fight his demons was the hardest yet only thing left to do. My darkest days followed as I forced myself to let go. I could not save him this I now know.
My brother is a man who knows what’s wrong and right. He’s dancing with the devil late into the night. Perhaps this is the way he wants to live, it’s not my place to say. I just think that somewhere along his journey he had lost his way.
There’s a universal belief that a man’s destiny lies in the choices that he makes. The daily struggle with what he leaves and what he takes.
Our mother is watching she’s been down this road too- A daily struggle with temptation she all to well knew. She left her children with a birds eye view of the loss and regret dancing with the devil gets you. She always said it’s a choice people do what they want to do. The ones you hurt the most are the ones that love you.
Tricia
Addiction Recovery Poems
