Dealing with an addict 101

Don't react to the drama, ride it out. The calm acceptance will make them think you know more than you do.

Willingness To Live

"Defiance and destructive behavior are not hopeless behaviors. They indicate a willingness to live rather than succumb to an empty and apathetic state." - Stephen

- Recovery can be a battle of emotions as the alcoholic or addict balances the risks of resolving their emptiness and overcoming the fear of change.

Sober Arrogance

"An honest relapse can be more respected than someone who is judgmental and arrogant in their sobriety." - Ron

- Always be humble in both your successes and failures.

Character

"I walk into a room and I know right away who is doing it right. Character is felt, not heard."
- Sarge

Fixing

"Be a friend gently. Fixing right away may not be fixing the right way." - M.H.

Your Story

"Talk for someone who can't find the words yet." - Chris

- There may be that one day when you are in that one meeting where your story changes a life.

Aspire

Aspire. Don't yield, ever.

Why I Relapsed

"Being away from solid ground for so long, there becomes a comfort in the rock of the boat and unstable seas." - Jack

Change

"It is not the fear of death that motivates change in the alcoholic but rather the eventual realization that they will live, but with no emotional attachment." - Stephen

Forgiveness

I Forgive You.
"The above is the first spiritual phrase I learned in getting sober. I started saying it to myself. It can be used today in response to all types of situations and people and must always include myself. Uncompromising forgiveness is a worthy challenge." - Todd

That Moment

"Don't prejudge. We don't know what makes us happy until we are in that moment." - SL

Beautiful

"Beautiful is not the absence of defects. Every garden has weeds." - P

- If you always strive for perfection, you may miss your life.

A Good Attitude

"Recovery has taught me that being happy all the time is not the goal. You have to learn to take the good with the bad. So I don't strive for happiness, I strive for a good attitude." - Peg

For Those Who Love An Addict

Don't punish yourself for your thoughts.

Ego

I am not the victim of the world I see.
"The world is a projection of my ego. My ego is undone through love and forgiveness."
- Todd

A Parent

"As a parent of a son who struggled with addictions here is my advice: You do not always have to be the strong one and don’t attach their success with sobriety to your self-esteem as a parent."

Boundaries

"Setting boundaries may hurt, but it won't harm."

- Expect some initial resistance to any change. Hurt feelings on the part of the alcoholic or addict can be their attempt to passive aggressively pull on your heart strings and put things back the way they were.

Treasures

"Recovery does not give us a new world,
It helps us find the treasures that are already before us." - Grace

Your Mind

"Coming off pills will make you feel like you are losing your mind. Batten the hatches and hang in there during detox. If you had your mind before, you will have it after." - G

Love

"The dark has no power on its own but is dependent on the absence of light..... Don't ever let addiction trump love." - Amy

Being In The Moment

"My biggest struggle was learning to be in the moment. For those who have been abused, you will understand when I say this is a dangerous place to be. For so many years being in the moment was the last place I wanted to be." - S

Heroin

"When I felt the prick of the needle and the burn in my veins, for that moment, in that pain, I knew I existed. Everything else was enslaved to the numbing death of the heroin." - JP

Denial

"Denial is simply a word that says the story is still too strong to tell." - J

Amends

"When making amends, seek fairness not absolution." - Rob

Quiet Moments

"For me, recovery was learning how to reason with the quiet moments." - K

The Exhale

"You can sort through all the B.S. by waiting for all the talking to be done. Truth will follow the exhale." - An Old Drunk

No Free Ride

"There is no free ride in life. From the day we are born, with every breath we take, we owe one back."

Just Existing

"As a stay at home Mom, I thought drinking gave me a life. But in reality I was just existing and not living and that is a poor example for my kids." - D

Recovery

"Recovery wins when neither fear nor liquor can stop your heart from grabbing hold of the words it needs to express itself."

My Subconscious

"My subconscious was being a jerk and trying to make me remember bad things. So my (emotional) breakdown was a last ditch effort of my brain to overwhelm my subconscious and shut it down in order to make the pain go away." - W (Age 11)

Difficult Marriages

"Your spouse's drinking does not have to define you. I've met a lot of people in difficult marriages that have thrived." - F